Notes in the key of G

Do Not Cross Me

*WARNING!*

I do not forgive.

I do not forget.

And I am fiercely loyal.

You couldn't make it to school.
I made all your copies.

You forgot to attend meetings.
I made your plans for you.

You made accusations.
I held my tongue.

You blamed me for your anxiety.
I went home crying.

You needed help.
I picked up your pieces.

You finally got caught.
I covered you while you denied it.

You went to rehab.
I received a pink slip.

You got a two month break.
I worried for two months that I would loose my job.

You had the nerve to call me when you got out and accuse me of hiding things.
I had no idea what you were talking about and vowed to never talk to you again.

You think because you can't remember it like that then it didn't happen.
I remember you making my life a living hell.

You think because you claim to have a "disease" now everything is ok.
I don't think like that.

You are still employed.
I am disgusted by it.

You had the nerve to say hi to me.
I think you're lucky I didn't tell you off right then and there.

I  don't respect you. I don't believe you. I don't forgive you. I don't want you to talk to me again.

I've been tagged!

I don't know if I've ever been tagged before but I'm up for the challenge! Dawn tagged me and gave me some questions to answer. Here we go!

1. You have been awarded the time off from work and an all-expenses paid week anywhere in the United States. The catch is that it must be somewhere you have not been before. Where do you choose to visit? Florida! Dawn and some WDW? I'm there! I love Disneyland and can only imagine how fun it would be to go to Walt Disney World. I don't think Scott would think it would be as fun. So obviously I need another partner! Or maybe Virginia later this year. ;)

2. Name three of your guilty pleasures. 1. Bravo TV. I don't know what it is about those Housewives but they suck me in! Scott makes fun of me for it all the time. But at least fluffy stuff won't make me upset. And sometimes it makes me feel better about my life ;) haha! 2. Prosciutto. My very favorite food on the face of the earth. 3. Magazines. I have a ridiculous amount that I need to catch up on. Like, black log from January. For real.

3. The best kind of Girl Scout Cookie is: Gosh I haven't had any in so long. (Gasp!) But I love Tagalogs. And once upon a time I made Thin Mint cupcakes that were fab.

4. What do you value most in other people? Honesty and sincerity. I hate fake people who use you when they need something. (I know it comes as a shock that I would be familiar with something like that...) I'm always touched when people are thoughtful. If you can see beyond your own shadow, I want to be your friend!

5. Be honest. Do you sneak some raw cookie dough when you're baking cookies? Yes even though I know it's so bad for you. But I have to taste test, right??

6. Have you ever looked back at your life and realized that something you thought was a bad thing was actually a blessing in disguise? Literally on a daily basis. I'm thrilled that every other relationship hasn't worked out to lead me to Scott. I'm glad I've been so uncomfortable I've had to change...for the better. I'm happy that awful situations have allowed me the chance to become closer to new (and old) people. Some situations I'm still not sure about (I have a feeling you know what that is Dawn) but one day I might figure it out. And if not, I still know it's God's plan.

7. What is the most beautiful place you've ever visited? Toss up between Maui

and

I can't wait to take Scott to Italy!

8. Are you more of a thinker or a feeler? Oh Lord. Dawn did you pick this one JUST for me? I'm a thinker. Way too much of one. I could spend literally hours just sitting and thinking. I think my mind is my own worse enemy sometimes. It would be great if I could retrain myself to dwell on good things rather than wallow in the bad. But I'm working on it!

9. Name three things you are thankful for right now. Only 3?
1. I'm thankful my foot is finally beginning to heal. This has been one of the most frustrating things I've ever had to deal with. Not being able to do what I want when I want. Being forced to sit still. Relying on someone else for nearly everything. But my health is important and I can't wait to be back to 100% so I can get out there and do more!
2. A weekend with Scott. He only gets one of a month and I always look forward to it. It'll be so nice to spend time with him.
3. Scott in general. Seriously. I don't know how I would have made it through the past 5 weeks without him. (Or the past 8+ months.)

10. Have you ever participated in a three-legged race? No! And I don't think I'm going to be able to anytime soon! Ha!

11. When you are at an event that plays the National Anthem, do you place your hand over your heart? Absolutely. I also participate in the Pledge of Allegiance every morning during 1st period and require my students to do the same. (I tell them they don't have to say it but they need to stand up and be respectful.) I've never been that patriotic but the older I get the more I appreciate this country and all it has to offer.

Normally I'd tag Dawn in one of these. But I can't! There's no way I can come up with 11 other people so I think I'm just going to leave it at that. Thanks for reading!

I need to get better at this

I've been reading through Elise's blog (because I basically LOVE it!). And I've been doing a lot of thinking (like usual).

And I've realized that I really should blog more. Really. Even though I say that at least once every couple of months...and then never follow through :(

Sometimes it's because I'm not sure what I should share. And sometimes it's because I'm short on time. And sometimes I'm just dang lazy.

But honestly? This is my space. And I'm really doing MYSELF a disservice to not have a spot to record my thoughts, my photos, my life. Because it's my life. And that should be important enough to document. Not for everyone else. But for me.

So be prepared for more posts! Because I have a feeling 2012 is going to be A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. :)

Growth

i've picked up this book again! i just love it. i could read it over and over and still enjoy the witty humor.

life lesson 1:

pain exists.
life can hurt.
like a lot.

life lesson 2:

the pain back in life lesson #1 was for your benefit.
you were being taught to breathe....that painful whack was necessary for your growth.

growth.
that's what i'm after. always. it's tough and a struggle and it makes me uncomfortable. i have to deal with things i don't want to. think about things i don't want to. be ok with things i can't control. this is a big deal because i don't do change. but if i don't change, if i don't embrace change, than my life will continue being the same. which is great! except...i want more out of life. and that's what growth is all about.

and i'll be a better person for it.

enough dammit

written by one of my most favorite authors, Karen Salmansohn.

i was reading this book the other night and came across this quote...
"You alone are responsible for your thoughts and thereby you are responsible for the choices of people and circumstances you decide to bring into your life due to your thoughts."

seriously.

i woke up this morning and thought about how incredibly blessed i am. people, places, experiences. both good and bad. i'm still grateful. as i thought about the important people in my life, i realized (again!) that i gravitate towards those who bring something into my life, who know how to laugh and smile, who want to enjoy life rather than focus on the negative.

and yet i still find myself being dragged down by the fun suckers. or rather, the fun sucker environments i find myself in. or rather, allowing people to dump their toxic sh!t on me while they walk away feeling lighter and i leave feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders.

so i'll be clearing the cobwebs and making some changes. i'm done being a magnet for suck. even Karen thinks so!

Friday

oh friday. i've been waiting for you all week. you should've showed up yesterday but i'm glad you're here today nonetheless.

1. the weather needs to make up its mind. i wore rainboots twice this week and felt like i complete fool when it rained while i was wearing my tennis shoes. wow.

2. i've gone out with a great friend every night this week. (well...including my love scott) it's done wonders for me! it's so nice to go out and laugh! you know, laughter? it seems to be rare around these parts lately. so it's nice to get it when i can.

3. jen and i laughed our asses off on wednesday. i can't share much (please please jen be a guest on my blog!!) but this monstrosity of an event that is supposed to take place soon is going to be absolutely epic! i have asked her to please video tape. because honestly? if that thing ever makes it onto youtube it will get millions of hits!!

4. i'm continually amazed at how selfish and self centered people are. it's all about what is best for them or what they need irregardless of anyone else. it scares me that this is what we are teaching our children. this world is coming to and end soon.

5. did i mention that it's friday?? :) and i'm going shopping tomorrow with a friend? my hope is that if i buy some bright and springy clothes that maybe mother nature will take a cue and keep the sun out for a few consecutive days. please!

i am...

...so tired! i HATE time change. it always takes me awhile to adjust, but i'm seriously dragging today. it could have something to do with the fact that i had a nightmare last night that i woke up at 7:15...which is when i LEAVE the house for work. needless to say, i had a super tough time staying asleep the rest of the night. as in a woke up at 2:30, 3:30, 4:15, 5:15...sigh.

...the orange tree outside is blooming and now i TOTALLY know what dawn is talking about! it smells A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.

...i had top raman for dinner on friday. (see post below) i have no problem with top raman. it just wasn't supposed to be on the menu. ironically, i still haven't heard a thing from the flaker. it makes me want to throw top raman at her. no, really.

...i'm convinced i'm a magnet for complainers. it's almost laughable if it wasn't just so darn sad. i've been told i need thicker skin. i'm working on a wet suit. does that count??

...for the first time, in the past 3 years, i will not be receiving a pink slip! do you know how amazing that is?? especially since i have been listening to doom and gloom for the past month warning me and "preparing" me for the inevitable. but the principal informed me today that there will not be a RIF notice issued to my dept this year. haha state of california! take that!
(no really, i am SO incredibly thankful! i hid it well at lunch but i did want to cry out of pure gratefulness.)

Just wanted you to remember

Dear Giuseppina,

You were reading a book this morning and it struck a chord with you.
"You should not let people make you feel badly about yourself because you don't fit their image of who your should be. You were created to be you. You were not created to mimic somebody else. If God had wanted you to look like a perfect model or have a different personality, He would have made you that way. When you go around trying to be like somebody else, not only does it demean you; it steals your uniqueness."

Do not feel bad for what you have been blessed with. Thank God. It's far better to be grateful than to waste your energy being upset.

Love,

Giuseppina