i am a self-proclaimed perfectionist. always have been, probably always will be. seeing as how i'm 26, and the teaching profession encourages perfectionism, it's bound to only get worse.
having said that...i'd like to take a moment to discuss what it means to me. it's almost like a disease! and i surround myself with people who are the same way which simply fuels the flames.
"just get it done" yea, that doesn't fly with me. i don't half-ass. i do it until it's done right. and not just right. it has to be PERFECT.
some examples?
1. scrapbooking: i would spend hours on one page. HOURS. couldn't leave it alone. had to measure everything. make sure it all lined up perfectly. matched perfectly. but i have been published!
2. paint: i repainted my room a couple of months ago and there is one spot that is driving me nuts because you can see where the roller was...well i can see it. i want to sand it and repaint it but i don't because i know that no one else will notice it but me.
3. school work: don't even get me started on this one. i have been known to spend 13 hrs straight working on a project. just yesterday i spent an additional 2 hrs proof-reading my final project that i had to turn in. i could have let it go, but the formatting was bothering me. and who has a 4.0?
4. supplies: i have a certain pencil that i use. i have a highlighter to match each color post-it i own. it's a sickness. but everyone turns to me for their writing needs because they know i will have what they are looking for.
5. organization: i may not be the neatest person but i do like to be organized. and it has to be my way. folded, sorted, alphabetized. gosh...i sound like a freak.
the moral to my story? a month and a half ago i signed up for a test that i now have to take on saturday. i have yet to study. this freaks me out. i have never failed a test before and i can guarantee that i will this time. these tests are beyond ridiculously hard. i don't even want to show up just so that way i can say i didn't take it rather than i failed it. others are telling me to look at it as a practice test. $150 is a hell of a lot to pay to "practice".
ugh
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