Notes in the key of G

i passed it up

so tomorrow is "college day" at school. we've been asked to wear something from our college to expose students to a variety of universities. and i started thinking about my choices....

when i was 15 i wanted to go to pepperdine. when i was a senior i got a letter from stanford. stanford. and i passed it up. my dad was in the hospital and i had to pass it up.

so i went to a community college. and then my dad passed away. so i stayed home and went to the local CSU. i couldn't ask my mom to pay for me to go away to school.

and the whole time i cursed the fact that i didn't go. that i didn't get to go to a bigger and better school (like stanford). that i didn't get to go to my dream school, pepperdine.

until i took matters into my own hands. i chose my path. i made it happen. i was that first person in my family to graduate from college. and that's what i'm going to share with my kids.

so much has changed

so i was looking through some pictures this morning and realized once again that my life has changed dramatically in the last couple of months. i can pretty much sum it up with 3 simple pictures...

july:

i graduated with my masters.

august:
 

setting up the room that was almost the death of me

september:

being welcomed by the renaissance kids

i wonder what october will hold for me...

perfection

i am a self-proclaimed perfectionist. always have been, probably always will be. seeing as how i'm 26, and the teaching profession encourages perfectionism, it's bound to only get worse.

having said that...i'd like to take a moment to discuss what it means to me. it's almost like a disease! and i surround myself with people who are the same way which simply fuels the flames.
"just get it done" yea, that doesn't fly with me. i don't half-ass. i do it until it's done right. and not just right. it has to be PERFECT.

some examples?
1. scrapbooking: i would spend hours on one page. HOURS. couldn't leave it alone. had to measure everything. make sure it all lined up perfectly. matched perfectly. but i have been published!
2. paint: i repainted my room a couple of months ago and there is one spot that is driving me nuts because you can see where the roller was...well i can see it. i want to sand it and repaint it but i don't because i know that no one else will notice it but me.
3. school work: don't even get me started on this one. i have been known to spend 13 hrs straight working on a project. just yesterday i spent an additional 2 hrs proof-reading my final project that i had to turn in. i could have let it go, but the formatting was bothering me. and who has a 4.0?
4. supplies: i have a certain pencil that i use. i have a highlighter to match each color post-it i own. it's a sickness. but everyone turns to me for their writing needs because they know i will have what they are looking for.
5. organization: i may not be the neatest person but i do like to be organized. and it has to be my way. folded, sorted, alphabetized. gosh...i sound like a freak.

the moral to my story? a month and a half ago i signed up for a test that i now have to take on saturday. i have yet to study. this freaks me out. i have never failed a test before and i can guarantee that i will this time. these tests are beyond ridiculously hard. i don't even want to show up just so that way i can say i didn't take it rather than i failed it. others are telling me to look at it as a practice test. $150 is a hell of a lot to pay to "practice".

ugh

ya, i teach your kids

it's so incredible...


1 cohort
23 students
22 girls, 1 fantastic manscot
10 months
50 units
almost half of us double credentialed
(myself being one of them)
4.0 gpa's
one of the most prestigious colleges
inspiring teachers
some of the most fabulous people i have ever met
friendships to last a lifetime

truly, if you think about it...

we are so amazing

seeing the ocean through the fence

it's 12:50am and i'm sitting here doing TPAs. what's a TPA you ask? pure hell and torture...otherwise known as teaching performance assessment. they suck ass.
so while i'm sitting here filling them out (because i procrastinate) and hating life (because i procrastinate) my screen saver came on and up popped this picture.



most people see the ocean. i see the fence. perhaps i need to learn to look past the fence and see the ocean and all it has to offer too...

the door of happiness

jen gave me one of the best cards yesterday. i won't share what she wrote because it's personal but i will share what the card said.

"when one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us."
helen keller

wow...so powerful.
i cried when i read it at lunch after graduation. i cried again when i read it that night. i love this girl more than anything.
she gets me. and i couldn't have done it without her.

One Moment in Time

i can't believe this is almost over...

13 hours of homework and counting

as you can see, it's getting down to the wire!



my room does not normally look like this...ok...well maybe more often than i would like to admit in the last 10 months.

here are some funny things i would like to point out:
1. the folders, papers, AND books strewn about as if a scholastic tornado came through!
2. the cell phone to intercept any phone calls that might relate to life outside of this room
3. the package of socks that have yet to make it into my drawer...i have priorities and those aren't one of them
4. paper towels that haven't found their way back to the kitchen yet...what? you mean they don't walk on their own?!
5. the stain from the soup i spilled while talking on the phone to jen (yeah shout didn't work as you can see)
6. the half eaten string cheese. i was hungry. and no, i don't pull it apart.
7. the sweet kipling backpack in the upper right corner that carts all this crap (and more!) around
8. you can clearly see where i have been planted for hours on end :)
9. the fact that i'm typing this up instead of finishing more work
10. yes, i have class all day tomorrow and some of this mess will gladly be turned in!

almost done...almost done...almost done...