Notes in the key of G

i may

or may not have this sweatshirt.

which may or may not say

ok...clearly i have it!! :)
is it wrong that i'm hoping the weather cools down so i can wear it on monday??

no really...

i LOVE genetics ;)

cafepress might be one of the coolest sites out there.
the bff got me this mug my first year of teaching.

see this?

this is a picture of me crying because i'm laughing so hard at the mendel mug. (jen's a keeper, that's for sure!)

mendel, i strongly believe that had we been born during the same era we would've totally been bffs. obviously.

or at least research partners ;)

guess what we're talking about in biology???

too funny

i LOVE genetics!! no, seriously. love. i could barely contain my excitement today. bring on the punnett squares!!

which, of course, i'm sure by the end of the unit i will be so TIRED of punnett squares! but in the mean time? happy dance!!

Giuseppina

...is studying like a mad woman and feeling very much like she is in school all over again rather than the teacher.

...is listening to the crock pot and hoping that dinner is as good in real life as it sounded online.

...is wondering where the summer went. seriously!

...is wishing she was more productive during said disappearing summer.

...started her period (tmi?) and then cried while cleaning. raise your hand if you've been there. anybody??

...is patting herself on the back when she thinks back to teaching human reproduction this past year and the emphasis she made during class about how much hormone fluctuation can f with a girl's emotions (see above). she chuckles when she remembers the teenage girls nodding and the teenage boys utter confusion.

...is wondering how many glasses of wine she can get away with and still be productive with this ap biology book (honey moon wine is actually making evolution interesting! and evolution is one of her least favorite topics. that and plants.)

...is getting back to the books...

2009 - a review

so i was checking out elise's website and just loved her idea of the "best of 2009". it got me to thinking...
this year has definitely been a year of change, to say the least!
so many ups and downs.
so many tears shed.
so many true friends found.
so many questions.
so many answers...not all good, but what i needed.
so many discoveries.
highlights here we come!

january

this month was not the best beginning to a new year. lets just leave it at that. but i did celebrate my 29th birthday, saw wicked (twice!), and went wine tasting up north with my favorite couple!

february
no pictures from this month. not a surprise seeing as how it was god awful. i'm sure i cried nearly every single day of february. asked lots of questions. got no answers. cried some more. started going to church with bethany. started feeling a stirring in my soul.

march
no pictures from this month either. but i did receive a letter. a letter that broke my heart at the time. a letter that i now view truly as a love letter from God. God who said, "you deserve better than this. you need more than this. i will give it to you. please trust in Me."

april

started living life again. (at least trying to!) super thankful for friends, TRUE friends, who hurt to see me hurt. from phone calls, to dinners, to working in the horticulture yard, to trips over spring break. i cannot thank them enough for pulling me out of the darkness. (ps. why this picture? because you can see two of my favorite things...marcus and giraffes!)

may

a trip to big bear with bethany. good for the heart. good for the soul.

june

change. big change. i don't enjoy change. but have painfully learned that it is necessary in order for there to be improvement.
finished up my 3rd year of teaching. was immensely grateful for the amazing year i had with such fantastic students, some of which overwhelmed me with their own gratefulness for such an amazing year. (ally, i mean you!) my heart broke knowing that i would need to teach next year without mr. strong. i made a deal with myself that i would do everything i could to not be lonely and sad that summer.

july

this was the year of disneyland! between grad night and summer passes i went 4 times. it was awesome! i enjoyed myself so much. especially with my little brother from another mother ;)

august


love juchu. just love her. another person who proved what an amazing friend she really is. went up north to visit her. had so much fun! it's always a great time with her and ben. while there, we went to the california academy of sciences. i realized what a true little geek i am when i started explaining things to jen at the different exhibits. can't wait to go back and check out the indoor rain forest again!

september

celebrated a birthday with the girls. celebrated LOTS of things with the girls ;) like the start of the new school year. and the start of a new relationship.

october

happiness. truly. a trip to vegas with friends, who knew when they met us that we would fall in love with each other. and they were very right. the more time i spend with him the more i learn why everything else hasn't worked. why the road has been broken. why my heart has been broken. why this broken-ness and then healing led me to him. and i couldn't be more thankful.

november

oh. my. gosh. who knew little me would love camping in the desert? and riding?? so fun! this was the first time that i went on a "real ride". as in shifting gears and riding long enough to have a dirt-stache. i could see myself getting into this! so much more enjoyable with great company! dave and lynette have such big hearts and welcomed us out with open arms. spent thanksgiving with good friends, good food, and some good dirt!

december

love.

love.

love.

rocky start. lovely ending.

again?

once upon a time there was a girl.
she had had her share of heartache, oh yes she had.
there was a palpable emptiness inside of her. a hole she did not know how to fill.
she had wondered how she had gotten to be in a place where she had felt so betrayed by life. she felt as though she was watching life in a pile of little pieces on the ground. too broken to actually participate. too broken to move on. too broken to be noticed. she watched other people and felt a stirring in her heart, a desire to have what they had.
the contentment.
the joy.
the happiness.
she waited and waited and then wondered what she was waiting for...

one day she said enough is enough!
it was hard, oh yes it was.
but she picked herself up and did what she wanted to do, what she felt in her heart. she applied to grad school, something she had wanted to do for years. she got accepted and worked hard and got her credentials. she wanted to make a difference in this world.
and she was happy.


she applied to one (and only one) school district.
she didn't know why.
that's just how it happened.
and that school district decided that she just might be what they were looking for. so a school called. her school. and she went and interviewed at her alma mater.
and she was reunited with her favorite teacher, the teacher who made her want to be a teacher.
and she came home smiling because she had decided that even if she didn't get the job, she gave a most fantastic interview and felt fab about herself.


they thought she was fab too, and offered her the job about two whole days later...

she worked very hard.
very very hard.
she wanted to be the very best she could be for these kids. she knew some of these kids had nothing. she knew that for some of these kids, this might be the only 55 minutes during their day where someone cared about them.
and she felt like some of them cared about her too.
she enjoyed her job.
and she loved working with him!
alot.
he quickly became her favorite person on earth.
for real.

sometimes that hole would nag her. would remind her that it was still there. would make her feel sad and lonely.
she would often wonder why she was alone.
why no one noticed her.
why no one wanted to spend time with her.
was she not good enough?
she pushed those feeling aside and continued working on being a better person, one she would want to be friends with.

that summer, she went to maui with her best friend.
they had a very good time.
a very very good time!
they had shave ice


and went to luaus


and saw amazing sunsets together!

this was the first time in a LONG time that she felt content.

she even decided that she would throw her cares away.
here to be exact...
(even as she types this, she very much remembers doing this...)

but when she got home that hole was waiting for her.
it was still there.
it wasn't as painful...but just enough to remind her that no matter how she spends her time, no matter how many friends she has, no matter how many students love her...she still didn't have a special someone to love and be loved by.

and that's all she really wanted.

year number two of the teaching career starts and she is full steam ahead.
she is going to try her best.
she is going to get it right.
and she is going to appreciate everything she does have for a change.
(and she is going to ignore that hole.)

only, this year is hard.
very very hard.
she realizes there are some mean people in the world.
and she learns that they are mean for no reason other than to make other people miserable.
especially her.
she wishes she was stronger (or more like strong!). she wishes she could ignore it. but she makes the mistake of listening to the mean words. and she makes the mistake of believing the mean words. and she makes the mistake of letting it get her down.

but soon she realizes she is better than this. soon she remembers why she comes to work. soon she finds happiness at her job again.
she laughs with her students


laughs with her friends


and she feels good about herself.

her friend, alisa, asked her if she would go to a conference with her that summer...

the girl thought to herself, "self, you are in a good place. you have worked hard in your career to get where you are. you have worked hard within yourself to build character and perseverance. you are open to new opportunities. why not go?"

so she said yes.

she went to said conference and was interested in meeting new people who had the same interests as her. she thought it would be fun to spend time with a good friend. she was excited to see the wild animal park.

little did she know she would meet a boy.
a boy who was everything on her list, and then some.
but she would ignore the "then some" and focus only on him.
because he made her feel happy.
very very happy.

she fought this idea of dating.
until she couldn't fight it anymore.
and soon they fell in love.

she found herself inviting him into her classroom (something she said she would never do). she found herself inviting him to meet the most important people in her life. she found herself beginning to dream about a life with him, their life.

there's was not what you would call an easy romance, what with the "then some" thrown in. there were many an obstacle to overcome. but she loved him so, and was willing to work hard...to make it work. and he was just as dedicated.

she soon felt as though this is what she was missing. this is what all the stories talk about. this is what she had longed for. she had waited 29 years for this boy. the hole didn't hurt anymore. it was almost only a memory.

almost.

one day she was spending time with him (which she often did because she loved him) and he told her something.
something that shocked her.
something that took her breath away.
something that made her overwhelmingly happy.

he said he thought she could be the one. "the one". the one he had waited for. (and boy, had he waited!) the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

the girl had never felt so loved. she beamed back and echoed his sentiments. she felt as though after all the heartache, after all the turmoil, after all the hurt...this was finally her time.

only, (breath), it didn't turn out quite like that.
5 days later he stopped talking to her.
3 days later her world fell apart when he told her that his heart had hardened.
she didn't know why.
she didn't run over his dog.
she didn't kill one of his kids.
she didn't sleep with his best friend.
(oh my gosh! she would never do any of those things! ever! she was working on character, people. remember?)

she called in sick to work the next day.
(she never calls in sick even when she IS sick!)
and she cried.
and cried.
and cried.
she didn't eat. she didn't sleep. and she didn't know why.
so she called in sick the next day too.

after everything was said and done, she found herself back in a pile of little pieces on the ground.
too broken to actually participate.
too broken to move on.
too broken to be noticed.
and she wondered why she was there again. why she had to endure it again. why she wasn't good enough again.
why she was alone.
again.

she watched other people and felt a stirring in her heart, a desire to have what they had.
the contentment.
the joy.
the happiness.

she never knew that february 1st would be the last time she would see him again.

an ode to the california subject examination for teachers

dear cset,
i knew this day would come. i just didn't know when. and it is with heavy heart that i acknowledge it's arrival.
i remember 2 years ago when i first learned of you. "the cset? i've never heard of such a thing." but i was intrigued. and i wanted to make you proud. so i found myself at borders, browsing the isles, searching for just the right book. i wanted to get to know you better. i wanted to impress you by saying just the right thing. kaplan promised to help me win you over.
i soon found myself signing up for a date with you. little did i know it would be one of many. countless hours were spent preparing for this event. the day arrived, and with bated breath, i showed up at el camino real high school to meet you. i dressed for success and was equipped with my finest writing utensils. anything for you cset. you were so inquisitive, asking just the right questions. i tried my best to show you that i was worthy of the effort. it must have worked because we agreed to meet again soon.
now cset, after 10 dates, it is with heavy heart that i tell you that there will be no more. it seems as though may 19 was our last rendezvous. i received the papers yesterday and they confirmed it. not only did i pass, but i rocked you! how fitting that our final farewell be in a blaze of glory.
we both knew this day would come. where we would have to part ways. it was fun while it lasted. but i was never meant to be a professional test taker. i appreciate all of your help on my road to success. now i finally am a real science teacher. perhaps we will meet up again. one day i may want to teach chemistry.
but until then...take care,
miss lubrano
science instructor, test taker extraordinaire

biology - the study of life

"miss lubrano! i had some guy crack my back and now my front hurts! what's this called? a scrotum?"
(trying hard not to laugh) "umm...hanna...that's your sternum. and you shouldn't let people crack your back unless they are a chiropracter."
"can i go to the nurse?"
"why?"
"my scrotum hurts!"
"sternum. and you'll live."
"what's a scrotum?"
oh geez...

apparently the american educational system is failing us. it's a sad day when my female student is complaining that her scrotum hurts!

by the way...have i mentioned that i'm teaching 4 classes of bio next year? we're going to have to begin with the basics.

"class, if you are a girl you have these parts...and only these parts. these parts belong to boys...."

it is done

cset
i salute you
and hope that after today we may never cross paths again.

the CSET might be the death of me

if anyone can explain electricity and magnetism to me i would be forever grateful!