Notes in the key of G

my plans for today

included a photo update.

But....

Scott has a 3 day weekend (we didn't know until a few days ago) so we're going to VEGAS!!

Why stop the party if you don't have to? ;)

 

i'm leavin on a jet plane!

to go here

with him

so we can share this

and i couldn't be happier :)

i heart spring break! part 2

a gorgeous day spent in santa barbara with my favorite guy having my favorite drink?? yes please :)

i heart spring break!

who goes to disneyland and hears someone call out their name? this one does :) as jen and i were walking to the lockers i hear, "hi miss lubrano!" crazy! he's one of my fav kids from last year, we chatted for a bit, i wished him a happy day, and then left chuckling. i texted scott about it and he said that's what happens when you're a legend. ;)

jen got me tickets to disney for my birthday. i'm glad we finally got to go! it's been a couple of years since we've gone to the happiest place on earth together.

my favorite picture from the day :)

i have no idea how she beat me...especially since she said she's never been on the ride before...likely story...

 

L.O.V.E

scott calls jen my "life long best friend". i definitely think he's right :)

2009 - a review

so i was checking out elise's website and just loved her idea of the "best of 2009". it got me to thinking...
this year has definitely been a year of change, to say the least!
so many ups and downs.
so many tears shed.
so many true friends found.
so many questions.
so many answers...not all good, but what i needed.
so many discoveries.
highlights here we come!

january

this month was not the best beginning to a new year. lets just leave it at that. but i did celebrate my 29th birthday, saw wicked (twice!), and went wine tasting up north with my favorite couple!

february
no pictures from this month. not a surprise seeing as how it was god awful. i'm sure i cried nearly every single day of february. asked lots of questions. got no answers. cried some more. started going to church with bethany. started feeling a stirring in my soul.

march
no pictures from this month either. but i did receive a letter. a letter that broke my heart at the time. a letter that i now view truly as a love letter from God. God who said, "you deserve better than this. you need more than this. i will give it to you. please trust in Me."

april

started living life again. (at least trying to!) super thankful for friends, TRUE friends, who hurt to see me hurt. from phone calls, to dinners, to working in the horticulture yard, to trips over spring break. i cannot thank them enough for pulling me out of the darkness. (ps. why this picture? because you can see two of my favorite things...marcus and giraffes!)

may

a trip to big bear with bethany. good for the heart. good for the soul.

june

change. big change. i don't enjoy change. but have painfully learned that it is necessary in order for there to be improvement.
finished up my 3rd year of teaching. was immensely grateful for the amazing year i had with such fantastic students, some of which overwhelmed me with their own gratefulness for such an amazing year. (ally, i mean you!) my heart broke knowing that i would need to teach next year without mr. strong. i made a deal with myself that i would do everything i could to not be lonely and sad that summer.

july

this was the year of disneyland! between grad night and summer passes i went 4 times. it was awesome! i enjoyed myself so much. especially with my little brother from another mother ;)

august


love juchu. just love her. another person who proved what an amazing friend she really is. went up north to visit her. had so much fun! it's always a great time with her and ben. while there, we went to the california academy of sciences. i realized what a true little geek i am when i started explaining things to jen at the different exhibits. can't wait to go back and check out the indoor rain forest again!

september

celebrated a birthday with the girls. celebrated LOTS of things with the girls ;) like the start of the new school year. and the start of a new relationship.

october

happiness. truly. a trip to vegas with friends, who knew when they met us that we would fall in love with each other. and they were very right. the more time i spend with him the more i learn why everything else hasn't worked. why the road has been broken. why my heart has been broken. why this broken-ness and then healing led me to him. and i couldn't be more thankful.

november

oh. my. gosh. who knew little me would love camping in the desert? and riding?? so fun! this was the first time that i went on a "real ride". as in shifting gears and riding long enough to have a dirt-stache. i could see myself getting into this! so much more enjoyable with great company! dave and lynette have such big hearts and welcomed us out with open arms. spent thanksgiving with good friends, good food, and some good dirt!

december

love.

love.

love.

rocky start. lovely ending.

vegas baby vegas!

last weekend we took our first trip together.

we went and saw le reve

hit up the spa at caesars for the very first time! i totally understand why people do it now!

who wouldn't want to spend hours here????
 

then we celebrated this girl's birthday :)

 

michelle is in the middle (26!) with her sister lynette (on the left.)

then we went to the bellagio for my favorite (outrageously priced!) breakfast.

 

the conservatory is just gorgeous.

had such a great time!

especially with this boy :)

again?

once upon a time there was a girl.
she had had her share of heartache, oh yes she had.
there was a palpable emptiness inside of her. a hole she did not know how to fill.
she had wondered how she had gotten to be in a place where she had felt so betrayed by life. she felt as though she was watching life in a pile of little pieces on the ground. too broken to actually participate. too broken to move on. too broken to be noticed. she watched other people and felt a stirring in her heart, a desire to have what they had.
the contentment.
the joy.
the happiness.
she waited and waited and then wondered what she was waiting for...

one day she said enough is enough!
it was hard, oh yes it was.
but she picked herself up and did what she wanted to do, what she felt in her heart. she applied to grad school, something she had wanted to do for years. she got accepted and worked hard and got her credentials. she wanted to make a difference in this world.
and she was happy.


she applied to one (and only one) school district.
she didn't know why.
that's just how it happened.
and that school district decided that she just might be what they were looking for. so a school called. her school. and she went and interviewed at her alma mater.
and she was reunited with her favorite teacher, the teacher who made her want to be a teacher.
and she came home smiling because she had decided that even if she didn't get the job, she gave a most fantastic interview and felt fab about herself.


they thought she was fab too, and offered her the job about two whole days later...

she worked very hard.
very very hard.
she wanted to be the very best she could be for these kids. she knew some of these kids had nothing. she knew that for some of these kids, this might be the only 55 minutes during their day where someone cared about them.
and she felt like some of them cared about her too.
she enjoyed her job.
and she loved working with him!
alot.
he quickly became her favorite person on earth.
for real.

sometimes that hole would nag her. would remind her that it was still there. would make her feel sad and lonely.
she would often wonder why she was alone.
why no one noticed her.
why no one wanted to spend time with her.
was she not good enough?
she pushed those feeling aside and continued working on being a better person, one she would want to be friends with.

that summer, she went to maui with her best friend.
they had a very good time.
a very very good time!
they had shave ice


and went to luaus


and saw amazing sunsets together!

this was the first time in a LONG time that she felt content.

she even decided that she would throw her cares away.
here to be exact...
(even as she types this, she very much remembers doing this...)

but when she got home that hole was waiting for her.
it was still there.
it wasn't as painful...but just enough to remind her that no matter how she spends her time, no matter how many friends she has, no matter how many students love her...she still didn't have a special someone to love and be loved by.

and that's all she really wanted.

year number two of the teaching career starts and she is full steam ahead.
she is going to try her best.
she is going to get it right.
and she is going to appreciate everything she does have for a change.
(and she is going to ignore that hole.)

only, this year is hard.
very very hard.
she realizes there are some mean people in the world.
and she learns that they are mean for no reason other than to make other people miserable.
especially her.
she wishes she was stronger (or more like strong!). she wishes she could ignore it. but she makes the mistake of listening to the mean words. and she makes the mistake of believing the mean words. and she makes the mistake of letting it get her down.

but soon she realizes she is better than this. soon she remembers why she comes to work. soon she finds happiness at her job again.
she laughs with her students


laughs with her friends


and she feels good about herself.

her friend, alisa, asked her if she would go to a conference with her that summer...

the girl thought to herself, "self, you are in a good place. you have worked hard in your career to get where you are. you have worked hard within yourself to build character and perseverance. you are open to new opportunities. why not go?"

so she said yes.

she went to said conference and was interested in meeting new people who had the same interests as her. she thought it would be fun to spend time with a good friend. she was excited to see the wild animal park.

little did she know she would meet a boy.
a boy who was everything on her list, and then some.
but she would ignore the "then some" and focus only on him.
because he made her feel happy.
very very happy.

she fought this idea of dating.
until she couldn't fight it anymore.
and soon they fell in love.

she found herself inviting him into her classroom (something she said she would never do). she found herself inviting him to meet the most important people in her life. she found herself beginning to dream about a life with him, their life.

there's was not what you would call an easy romance, what with the "then some" thrown in. there were many an obstacle to overcome. but she loved him so, and was willing to work hard...to make it work. and he was just as dedicated.

she soon felt as though this is what she was missing. this is what all the stories talk about. this is what she had longed for. she had waited 29 years for this boy. the hole didn't hurt anymore. it was almost only a memory.

almost.

one day she was spending time with him (which she often did because she loved him) and he told her something.
something that shocked her.
something that took her breath away.
something that made her overwhelmingly happy.

he said he thought she could be the one. "the one". the one he had waited for. (and boy, had he waited!) the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

the girl had never felt so loved. she beamed back and echoed his sentiments. she felt as though after all the heartache, after all the turmoil, after all the hurt...this was finally her time.

only, (breath), it didn't turn out quite like that.
5 days later he stopped talking to her.
3 days later her world fell apart when he told her that his heart had hardened.
she didn't know why.
she didn't run over his dog.
she didn't kill one of his kids.
she didn't sleep with his best friend.
(oh my gosh! she would never do any of those things! ever! she was working on character, people. remember?)

she called in sick to work the next day.
(she never calls in sick even when she IS sick!)
and she cried.
and cried.
and cried.
she didn't eat. she didn't sleep. and she didn't know why.
so she called in sick the next day too.

after everything was said and done, she found herself back in a pile of little pieces on the ground.
too broken to actually participate.
too broken to move on.
too broken to be noticed.
and she wondered why she was there again. why she had to endure it again. why she wasn't good enough again.
why she was alone.
again.

she watched other people and felt a stirring in her heart, a desire to have what they had.
the contentment.
the joy.
the happiness.

she never knew that february 1st would be the last time she would see him again.

rockin the hawaiian this week

in more ways than one...

been feeling the aloha this week. really. started listening to the music in class wednesday. was given even more music thursday ;) and sported the authentic hawaiian shirt today.

wishin i was here


cuz i'm ok with this


maybe i could find a little peace


if not, then alot of this!


and i could watch one of these

with my lil hawaiian ;)

book the flight! my bags are packed!

sleepy

i love saturday and sunday. not because i don't have to work. not because i have time to catch up on all my dvr-d shows. not because i get to do whatever i want.

because i get to sleep in!

and when i don't get to sleep in on the weekend it kinda ticks me off. like this morning! my alarm went off at 615. right now it's 710. and i'm not still asleep! when i woke up my body literally hurt because of the lack of sleep i got.

and as i grumbled to myself i remembered why i had set that alarm. supercross in san diego!
yea! time to hop in the shower ;)

i miss it

and the more i look at pictures, the more i want to be there. i need an escape.

i want to go here

and see my family here

visit here

hit up florence and show off these

be in complete awe of this

pick some of these

and then head down south for some of this

and cruise through this

and hopefully enjoy a little of this ;)

but since i'm stuck here i'm thinking of reading this

this

this

and this

cuz a girls gotta eat too!