last weekend we took our first trip together.
we went and saw le reve
hit up the spa at caesars for the very first time! i totally understand why people do it now!
who wouldn't want to spend hours here????
then we celebrated this girl's birthday :)
michelle is in the middle (26!) with her sister lynette (on the left.)
then we went to the bellagio for my favorite (outrageously priced!) breakfast.
the conservatory is just gorgeous.
had such a great time!
especially with this boy :)
once upon a time there was a girl.
she had had her share of heartache, oh yes she had.
there was a palpable emptiness inside of her. a hole she did not know how to fill.
she had wondered how she had gotten to be in a place where she had felt so betrayed by life. she felt as though she was watching life in a pile of little pieces on the ground. too broken to actually participate. too broken to move on. too broken to be noticed. she watched other people and felt a stirring in her heart, a desire to have what they had.
the contentment.
the joy.
the happiness.
she waited and waited and then wondered what she was waiting for...
one day she said enough is enough!
it was hard, oh yes it was.
but she picked herself up and did what she wanted to do, what she felt in her heart. she applied to grad school, something she had wanted to do for years. she got accepted and worked hard and got her credentials. she wanted to make a difference in this world.
and she was happy.
she applied to one (and only one) school district.
she didn't know why.
that's just how it happened.
and that school district decided that she just might be what they were looking for. so a school called. her school. and she went and interviewed at her alma mater.
and she was reunited with her favorite teacher, the teacher who made her want to be a teacher.
and she came home smiling because she had decided that even if she didn't get the job, she gave a most fantastic interview and felt fab about herself.
they thought she was fab too, and offered her the job about two whole days later...
she worked very hard.
very very hard.
she wanted to be the very best she could be for these kids. she knew some of these kids had nothing. she knew that for some of these kids, this might be the only 55 minutes during their day where someone cared about them.
and she felt like some of them cared about her too.
she enjoyed her job.
and she loved working with him! alot.
he quickly became her favorite person on earth.
for real.
sometimes that hole would nag her. would remind her that it was still there. would make her feel sad and lonely.
she would often wonder why she was alone.
why no one noticed her.
why no one wanted to spend time with her.
was she not good enough?
she pushed those feeling aside and continued working on being a better person, one she would want to be friends with.
that summer, she went to maui with her best friend.
they had a very good time.
a very very good time!
they had shave ice
and went to luaus
and saw amazing sunsets together!
this was the first time in a LONG time that she felt content.
she even decided that she would throw her cares away.
here to be exact... (even as she types this, she very much remembers doing this...)
but when she got home that hole was waiting for her.
it was still there.
it wasn't as painful...but just enough to remind her that no matter how she spends her time, no matter how many friends she has, no matter how many students love her...she still didn't have a special someone to love and be loved by.
and that's all she really wanted.
year number two of the teaching career starts and she is full steam ahead.
she is going to try her best.
she is going to get it right.
and she is going to appreciate everything she does have for a change.
(and she is going to ignore that hole.)
only, this year is hard.
very very hard.
she realizes there are some mean people in the world.
and she learns that they are mean for no reason other than to make other people miserable.
especially her.
she wishes she was stronger (or more like strong!). she wishes she could ignore it. but she makes the mistake of listening to the mean words. and she makes the mistake of believing the mean words. and she makes the mistake of letting it get her down.
but soon she realizes she is better than this. soon she remembers why she comes to work. soon she finds happiness at her job again.
she laughs with her students
laughs with her friends
and she feels good about herself.
her friend, alisa, asked her if she would go to a conference with her that summer...
the girl thought to herself, "self, you are in a good place. you have worked hard in your career to get where you are. you have worked hard within yourself to build character and perseverance. you are open to new opportunities. why not go?"
so she said yes.
she went to said conference and was interested in meeting new people who had the same interests as her. she thought it would be fun to spend time with a good friend. she was excited to see the wild animal park.
little did she know she would meet a boy.
a boy who was everything on her list, and then some.
but she would ignore the "then some" and focus only on him.
because he made her feel happy.
very very happy.
there's was not what you would call an easy romance, what with the "then some" thrown in. there were many an obstacle to overcome. but she loved him so, and was willing to work hard...to make it work. and he was just as dedicated.
she soon felt as though this is what she was missing. this is what all the stories talk about. this is what she had longed for. she had waited 29 years for this boy. the hole didn't hurt anymore. it was almost only a memory.
almost.
one day she was spending time with him (which she often did because she loved him) and he told her something.
something that shocked her.
something that took her breath away.
something that made her overwhelmingly happy.
he said he thought she could be the one. "the one". the one he had waited for. (and boy, had he waited!) the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
the girl had never felt so loved. she beamed back and echoed his sentiments. she felt as though after all the heartache, after all the turmoil, after all the hurt...this was finally her time.
only, (breath), it didn't turn out quite like that.
5 days later he stopped talking to her.
3 days later her world fell apart when he told her that his heart had hardened.
she didn't know why.
she didn't run over his dog.
she didn't kill one of his kids.
she didn't sleep with his best friend.
(oh my gosh! she would never do any of those things! ever! she was working on character, people. remember?)
she called in sick to work the next day.
(she never calls in sick even when she IS sick!)
and she cried.
and cried.
and cried.
she didn't eat. she didn't sleep. and she didn't know why.
so she called in sick the next day too.
after everything was said and done, she found herself back
in a pile of little pieces on the ground.
too broken to actually
participate.
too broken to move on.
too broken to be noticed.
and she wondered why she was there again. why she had to endure it again. why she wasn't good enough again.
why she was alone.
again.
she
watched other people and felt a stirring in her heart, a desire to have
what they had.
the contentment.
the joy.
the happiness.
she never knew that february 1st would be the last time she would see him again.
in more ways than one...
been feeling the aloha this week. really. started listening to the music in class wednesday. was given even more music thursday ;) and sported the authentic hawaiian shirt today.
wishin i was here
cuz i'm ok with this
maybe i could find a little peace
if not, then alot of this!
and i could watch one of these
with my lil hawaiian ;)
book the flight! my bags are packed!
and the more i look at pictures, the more i want to be there. i need an escape.
i want to go here
and see my family here
visit here
hit up florence and show off these
be in complete awe of this
pick some of these
and then head down south for some of this
and cruise through this
and hopefully enjoy a little of this ;)
but since i'm stuck here i'm thinking of reading this
this
this
and this
cuz a girls gotta eat too!
how do i say goodbye to 2007 and hello to 2008?
going riding in the desert for the first time, of course!
alisa, my teacher friend, invited me out to ridgecrest to go riding on the quads. i was pretty worried. why? well it's been about 5 yrs since i've driven through the mo-jave. and i would be driving out there on my own. and you don't get any reception once you pass through the pile the state of california calls palmdale/lancaster.
*side note* i don't care how cheap the housing is out there, i would NOT live there. "but what if they give you the house for free?" umm...let me think about it...NO. absolutely not. i would rather live in a box. for real.
the other reason why i was worried? i've never ridden on a quad before! and i'm not sure a broken collarbone would look good on me.
(strangely enough, many of my friends were shocked when they found out i went riding. i don't know why. cuz i'm not tough enough? i'm a chick but come on!)
so here are pictures to prove it!
what does one do in the desert, exactly?
well you see...
...you play games in the trailer
...you eat lots and lots of redvines
...you drink
...you chill with little kids and repeat "y-e-s" and "whaaT"
...you set off fireworks, illegally of course. but it's so cool!
...you take night rides (on the back of a bike with a pro rider, thank you very much, who makes comments about ridin dirty) and look at the stars and are amazed that you can see the milky way
...you light christmas trees! which apparently is common. and scary!
before
just lit
there is a reason why homes burn down during christmas. 
see my vacant chair? that's because the tree went up in flames so fast it scared the crap out of me and i jumped backwards. i'm not kidding, it was so hot! and such a huge fire! the flames were literally 25 ft in the air.
and we were left with this in a matter of 5 mins.
...you visit the pinnacles (and make many jokes about how phallic they look)
...you FREEZE in 25* weather
i'm wearing 2 pairs of socks, boots, pants, riding pants, tank top, thermal, sweatshirt, snow jacket, beanie, and gloves. and yes, i'm STILL cold! we called it a night quickly after this. well, that's a lie. first we lit some fireworks. then went to bed. :)
...oh yea! and you go riding!!
the chick ride. and me NOT running into a bush.
i dig the pink fox pants ;0)
see? i really did it! and it was fun :)
ramble-y? i think so.
1. my thoughts recently have been all over the place. as in they race from the min i wake up to the moment i close my eyes and fall asleep. what do you think they revolve around? think about it...
yes! school! count down till winter break, commence!
2. my throat is starting to feel funny again. so NOT ok with me. you better believe i'll be sucking down the airborn and going to bed early tonight. i'd go to bed now...except it's only 6:30pm. and that's just ridiculous. even babies don't go to bed that early.
3. finally did some decorating this past weekend. i heart the christmas tree. i really do. i use the traditional colors: maroon, gold, and the green of the tree. not only are these christmas colors but they are also italian. and right now, i'm missing home.
4. i had dinner with beth this past weekend. (why didn't we take pictures?!) she is becoming one of my favorites. however, i love her and hate her. love what a fantastic person she is. so sweet and thoughtful. hate that she is moving. who thought that was a good idea?! umm, not me. and had she asked before making the decision i would have told her so! i'm excited that i can go visit her. (we all know i love to travel) but i like her in the same state as me. :(
5. school has been kicking my ass. again. just when i think i'm catching up i realized that i still have a huge load to do. i'm getting better at finding balance and getting my stuff done. it's the coworkers i'm having a problem with. those of you who find it perfectly acceptable to leave school early to surf and then come knock on my window in the morning expecting me to welcome you with open arms (and your copies)...yea, bite me.
6. having said that, i have really been trying to face each day with a positive attitude. i literally wake up in the morning, feel kinda crappy, and tell myself "today is going to be a good day!". and you know what? for the most part they all have been good days.
7. the sub is so hot. and he likes josh groban. and i actually like his personality. so can he just dump his girlfriend already? i mean, come on!
8. don't laugh...but i actually like volcanoes. and i like teaching my kids about volcanoes. and i like that we get to talk about hawaii when talking about volcanoes.
these (basaltic rock...i know...laugh it up) come from
which is located here
which is where i should be. at least that's what i'm thinkin!
9. you. you who call me more in 2 weeks than you have in 2 months (as in 6 times). you who call just to be nosy although you mask it with interest. "i just want to see how you're doing." no. no you don't. you think i have a boyfriend and you want to weasel in on it. well you know what? i'm not answering for a reason. i'm done with you.
10. does the 3 day rule apply to online dating as well? just curious.
lets do it this way...
the beach
note the fisherman
some of the beach across from our hotel
hawaiian gondolier
toes in the sand
lahaina, with lovely sunscreen sheen :)
jen took this fab picture which i just love
the luau
hottie in the middle
gorgeous
pretty
you twirl that fire!
yes please!
how cute is she?
the food
see that gray stuff in the corner? yea, i tried poi.
gross but true
cheeseburgers in paradise
yummy yum tacos
seriously, how did i live before shrimp tacos??
one of the best meals i've ever had
at this place. the humuhumunukunukuapua'a. if anyone has the nerve to make fun of my name again i'll be bringing up the name of the fish and saying, "yea, make fun of my name again. i dare you."
more later. bed now.
thanks for the patience. i had meant to do this last week but some how life got in the way.
so the trip started with a couple of bumps. our flight from burbank was supposed to leave at 930 but got delayed 2 hrs because of the fog in san fran. sadly by the time we landed there (one of the worst landings ever!) it was nearly 12...except our flight to maui was at 1040. so we missed it! thankfully there was another flight but it wasn't leaving until 4:45. so we ended up spending almost 7 hrs sitting around an airport. it also cut out a whole half a day in maui :(
i have to say though...arriving there was one of the coolest things ever! landing through clouds (not fun) but once we got through them all you could see was tropicalness and there was an actual rainbow outside my window! super cool!
we had some dinner and made it back to our hotel and called it a night.
the next day we started exploring our part of the island. (how rad is it to even say that?!)
headed over to the secret cove in makena. not so secret as there was going to be a wedding. but the place was literally the size of my house.
but it was so gorgeous! that's all i kept saying as we drove around. i couldn't get over how beautiful everything was!
we ate right across the street at makena grill which was literally just a grill on the side of the road, but happens to be world famous! good fish tacos, even better chicken skewer! drove around to wailea and drooled over all the resorts. that night we went and hung out at the bars a couple blocks from our hotel where they were hosting maui idol. :) so fun! and i drank beer...which is pretty much unheard of! but went well with the fish and chips :)
one of the tasitest treats we had while we were there? shave ice. no, not shaved...shave.
yum!!!
tomorrow? the luau where i decided that i want to marry a hawaiian.
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